The Rules of (Punctuation) Engagement

Nothing like a question posted on LinkedIn to get the creative juices flowing. Someone poised the inquiry, “Are you a strictly-one-exclamation-point-per-email kind of person?”

My first thought was HECK NO!!! Because seriously, if you’ve ever texted or emailed me, you’ll see I’m prone to high energy and all the punctuation that goes along with my thoughts and feelings. And if you know me, you know it’s all part of my charm. But if you don’t know me, I’m sure it can probably make people have certain thoughts and feelings of their own.

Case in point. The first time I texted my sister’s friend about something, I am pretty sure three exclamation points were involved. She immediately texted my sister to ask if I was mad at her. Not because of my words, but because of my use of exclamation points.

That’s not the only time punctuation usage in text has gotten me in trouble. My daughter often asks if I’m upset with her. And why? Because I wrote a complete sentence that ended with a period in a text to her. She said it set a mad tone. All because this grammar nerd wrote a complete sentence. With appropriate punctuation. Needless to say, a face-to-face conversation was needed to clear up that issue once and for all.

But communication is changing. I’m firmly Gen X, but Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha have their own styles. And don’t get me started on the latest notion that if you use an em dash in your writing it must be AI. Listen, some of us have been using ALL the punctuation since the dawn of time—the em dash included—because it adds necessary emphasis.

If we don’t start talking about punctuation and its place in this world, there are going to be some serious miscommunications through the written word. In that vein, I’m going to propose a few rules and just ask that we all go with them. Okay?

PUNCTUATION RULES

1. When people use punctuation appropriately, whether in a grant proposal, text, email, or memo (remember memos?), we will applaud its appropriate use. We will not judge or make assumptions.

2. When people make punctuation mistakes, including forgetting the oxford comma, we will not judge because we are all humans who make mistakes. Who am I kidding? I am #teamoxfordcomma all the way, and if you leave it out of a sentence, I will give you grief.

3. Exclamation points in email are not to be frowned upon. Sure, if you look up guidance on the use of this punctuation it suggests that overuse makes your writing appear overly dramatic. But it’s 2026, and if ever there was a year to be overly dramatic, it’s this year.

4. We agree that grammar nerds love and understand punctuation. As such, we will not use punctuation choices to accuse people of using AI.

5. When it comes to texting, all rules are out the window. Use punctuation or don’t. Spell out words in completion or don’t. Write complete sentences or don’t. You do you boo. But if the receiver doesn’t understand what the heck you are saying, pick up the phone, have a real conversation, and clarify what was said. Don’t assume someone is mad at you just because of their writing choices. Okay?

6. To clarify that point – some of us people born in the 1900s still write out the word OKAY. And guess what, that’s ok. Or k. But let’s not be judgy about how we choose to write that word.

7. When it comes to formal writing—novels, grant proposals, laws, court findings, and the like—let’s stick with formal punctuation. Just because we choose to be lackadaisical and whimsical in informal writing doesn’t mean we should drop all the rules in proper society.

I’m curious, what rules would you add to this list? Let me know at hello@haydayservices.com.